Action, Adventure, Excitement, Part 8 Chapter 1 Subject: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 1 On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 08:07:53 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010723 Roland and Morgan walked from the door, happy smiles on their faces. Then they stopped, frowning, and turned around to look at the figure silhouetted in the doorway. "And keep an _eye_ on those two, Roger. You have no idea how much trouble -- no, wait. You know _exactly_ how much trouble they can get into. So don't let them out of your sight." Suddenly, lightning crashed. "Well, _that's_ a bad sign," Roland noted dryly. Roger rolled his eyes. "Well, *duh,* daddy-o. And don't worry -- I'm sure that lightning was just a coincidence." "Come on, honey, let's go..." Morgan said in a soothing voice, gently pulling on her husband's arm. "Yeah, what Mom said...GO! I've got it all under control." "Two eyes -- I generally keep a dupe with each twin, remember?" "One for each dupe?" Roland asked, eyebrow raised. "I'm not even going to _ask_ what the other eye is doing in each case..." "Hah hah. Now get going, Dad, before the Inevitable Plot Complication shows up and derails your plans for the evening. Like I said, I have EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL." There was a roll of thunder from overhead. "Oh, cut it out!" "Gotta have a talk with Thor or Raiden about their sense of humor..." "You forgot the Morrigan," Roland deadpanned. Morgan sighed and gave each of the twins a last hug. "You two be good for your Big Brother Roger," she admonished them. Then she began the Obligatory Maternal Litany. "You have the number and coordinates of the restaurant and the theater, and we should be back before 11." "Yes, plus we have multiple unbreakable teep links, *and* all sorts of electronic/magickal comm systems. Multiple redundancy in depth. Now will you two GO before I have to generate more dupes to DRAG YOU?!?!?? And FIY, I don't think Morrigan would do that -- doesn't match her sense of humor. Now GIT!" The Freelance Parentals had been gone perhaps a quarter-hour when the End of the World arrived...in the person of the Cute Bikini-Clad Goddesses of the Apocalypse. Each Roger was, as usual, juggling a twin and keeping them separately occupied, when the doorbell rang. The closest Roger (holding Rachel) got the door...and saw his life pass before his eyes. "Hiiiiiiii, Rogi!!" carolled two lovely voices. "We were just in the neighborhood, and thought -- Ooooh, what a cute baby!" "I'm a dead man," Roger thought. Rachel looked at Kei with something akin to deja vu. Liam, meanwhile, was too busy watching Looney Tunes to note female arrivals that were obviously there to do Gross Things with his big brother. "Ooh, pretty toys!" Rachel cooed. And the kazillion weapons that the Lovely Angels carry began floating out of their various places of concealment. Kei moved faster and swept Rachel up in her arms, cooing like a heavily-armed dove, while Yuri made Wounded Hearts Eyes at Roger. "Rogiiii...you went and had children without *us*?" Roger, meanwhile, was busily TKly disarming all of Kei's weapons and teleporting them someplace safe...which meant as far from Kei, or Yuri, or the twins, as possible. Not to mention placating the house's security system, which was going into cyclic colonic spasms.... "Er, uh, no, Yuri...this is my little sister Rachel, and her twin brother Liam is over...there...with the other me. Umm...did you feel a small earthquake just now?" Liam yawned and watched Wile E. go through his 9th obliteration of that episode. Yuri got Big Hearts Eyes and plopped down on the floor with Liam, competing with the TV for his attention. He contented himself with chewing on her hair, while she went silly-buggers playing with his toes. The Rogers traded looks and sighed. "Girls." Rachel cooed back at Kei, subconsciously seeing a role model in Kei's deceptively-innocent face. The multiverse shuddered. "No, honey," Kei said to Rachel, "don't play with the Bloody Card -- it's outdated anyway. Here, try the Carnival of Carnage..." "YIPE! Kei, er, um...hey, you want some coffee -- er, I mean, soothing camomile tea?" One Roger began making LOTS of tea, while the other pried the Card and Carnival away from Rachel's all-too-eager hands. Liam, meanwhile, had started searching Yuri's uniform for anything interesting. Elsewhere, as Roland and Morgan were seated, they had an Ominous Feeling of Impending Doom. "Morgan, are you _sure_ Roger can take care of those two?" Roland thought about this for a moment. "After the stories he's told _us_ about his toddler-hood..." "Liam, watch the hands," Roger muttered over Yuri's giggles of "Oh, he's just like YOU, Rogi!" "You're not old enough for ANY of that, yet." Liam hummed contentedly, briefly distracted from the TV (gone to commercial, don'tcha know) and went from chewing on Yuri's hair to animating it. Her hair quickly turned it into a snarled mass that would take a scalp-close shave to rectify. Fortunately, Yuri was too busy Playing With Baby to notice. Liam threw Roger a DISGUSTED look and his big bro got a _distinct_ sense of "oh, _please._" Roger hid a smirk. "Just wait, little bro. Just you wait..." The house, knowing a Bad Thing when it saw one, began trying to herd the Lovely Angels one way and the Twins another... Roger, knowing just how much worse things could get, told the house to chill and started preemptive damage control. With a flurry of dupes, he managed to get the couches cleaned off, toys put away, a tray of tea and cookies set up, and every door out of the living room sealed with a Max-10 force field. After teleporting away every weapon in the room he went back to two dupes and relaxed...slightly. Meanwhile, Rachel was using ESP to examine the disassembled (and distanced) weaponry with all-too-clinical interest, and Liam was wondering why Yuri was having so much trouble with her (now waist-length) hair, which was tangling more than just itself. Roger glanced at Rachel, thought for a moment, and then put a TK shield around every component to keep them from fitting together. Then, after a few seconds' more thought, doubled the field, teleported every power cell into his personal space, and shut down every power outlet in the room besides the TV. Rachel pouted rather dramatically. "Roger mean." "Roger not suicidal. Rachel DANGEROUS. Behave." Rachel pouted even MORE dramatically...then said, "ooh! Bug BUNNY!" and zoomed at a significant fraction of .c to the couch as Bugs and Marvin began to face off. Both twins watched with rapt attention as the credits showed "Hare-Way to the Stars." Unfortunately, this moment of peace and quiet couldn't last. Entranced as they were by the incredibly cute Phoenix Twins, that only served to eventually remind the Angels of their *real* reason for stopping by: hoping to get some TLC from their Rogi-poo. Rogi-poo -- er, ROGER -- being smarter than the average lead brick, approached this concept with all the care of a professional EOD [i.e. Explosive Ordnance Disposal] man approaching a load of old, unstable nitroglycerin: very very carefully, but not without a certain thrill at the challenge. Unnoticed even by their Big Brother's Orwellian eye, the Twins noticed the slight wavering in Roger's focus, exchanged a quick look...and smirked. And Roger proceeded to lose track of himself. Later, he would realize that his powers had been tampered with without setting off any internal alarms, which SHOULD have been impossible. But then, a LOT of impossible things were going to happen that week... Meanwhile, in Toon-land, Marvin was explaining his dilemma of astronomical observation. "It blocks my view of Venus." (OOC-Roger: Toon-land astrocartography being so VERY oversimplified....) Rachel and Liam exchange a look. "Bad man want blow up Earth," Rachel said gravely. "What momanpop do?" Liam replied. "Stop bad man," Rachel explained. Liam pondered this a moment, then nodded. "Momanpop not here," he replied. "Call?" Rachel considered. "No. Too small." She considered a moment longer. "Call Roger?" Liam rolled his eyes and nodded his head in the direction of the vanished Rogers and DP. "Roger _busy,_" he said with a hint of derision. "WE stop bad man," Rachel said firmly. Liam nodded gravely. "Like momanpop," he agreed. The Phoenix Twins, course decided, walked to the TV...and straight through it, creating an X-Window spontaneously through sheer expectation of their act's possibility. Be-o-woop! The TV turned off, the screen's projection shrinking to a dot and "plink!"-ing away. *** A not-very-short, and rather self-satisfied interval later, Roger bumped into Roger in the kitchen, making munchies for their respective Angels (who had gone the separate-rooms route, this time). "Well?" "Well." "Heh. Dude." "Dude. Sweet?" "SwEEeet." There was a long pause. "Wait. Why are we talking to each other like separate people?" "Um...I dunno. I've got a better question: who's with the Twins?" Both Rogers reached out with their minds. In the area of their shared mindspace where...a third and fourth Roger should have been with each Twin, there was a great, gaping...Absence of Roger-ness. "Uh...oh." "Okay, Don't Panic." "Not until Mom&Dad get back. THEN we panic." "No, then we DIE. Okay, let's split up and search the house. Check the security logs, transport traces, teep signals, the works." "Should we get the Angels to help?" "Are you INSANE??? How could I/you even THINK of that?!? Now get going!" "Hey, who put YOU in charge?" "ARRGH! We do not have TIME for this!" The doorbell rang. "You get it." "ME? YOU get it!" "Hey, this isn't MY fault!" "What, like it's MINE?" "Okay, fine. Together?" "Together. Right. Mudd and Dead Meat, shoulder to shoulder...to the end." "Which isn't far off. Been nice being you." "Likewise. Let's go, Mudd." "Huh? I thought *you* were Mudd." "No, I'm Dead Meat. It's more dignified." "Grrr...WhatEVER." They opened the door to find their favorite (at least she hopes so ;-) Ecstatic smiling at them. "Hi Rog!" Rio said perkily. "I 'knew' you were here alone, so I decided to drop by and keep you company." In chorus: "RIO!!!!" [Oh, ghod. On the one hand, it's great to see the greatest element of sanity in our existence. OTOH, her timing really--] At this moment, of course, the Angels decided to wander downstairs, in obvious states of dishabille. Both Rogers winced, and shared a sudden intense desire for an alien invasion, or a nanite plague outbreak, or a surprise tax audit... Rio glanced over the Rogers' shoulders. "Oh. Um. I only 'checked' for the rest of the family. Um... Is this a bad time?" Both Rogers glanced back at the Angels, who were getting their Jealous Faces on, then at Rio, then thought about their looming Parental Death Crisis, and went into full Emergency Babble Mode. "NO!! Not a bad time at all! come in sit down Kei Yuri this is Rio this is Kei and Yuri grab a seat have some tea we've got trouble the Twins have taken off we gotta find 'em before me and myself end up dead by Ancient Scottish Parental Punishment Ritual!" Rio eyed Roger's guests, but came in anyway. Deciding not to be annoyed at the presence of other females (hey, she's a Cultist of Ecstasy after all, and she and Rog don't have any exclusivity agreements), she finally parsed the important elements of Roger's babble. "The twins took off? Where?" "WE/I DON'T KNOW! This shouldn't be possible we had a dupe on each of them but we went upstairs with the Angels but we left a dupe-each with the Twins but HE was supposed to do and *I* thought the HE was with the Twins but he wasn't because he didn't exist and now we have two where we should be four and the house can't find them and there's no trace of anyone taking them and they're so much more dangerous on their own and MomandDad will be back any minute and WE'RE GONNA DIEEEEEEE!!!!!" The Angels, being less able to parse out the Rogers' babble, grasped only that Their Rogi-Poos are in danger, and reacted in typical fashion. This was enough to distract Dead Meat momentarily while Mudd kept explaining in more detail to Rio. "Hmmm...they're practically naked, and I took away all the weapons in their clothes earlier. Where were they keeping these new arsenals?" After a moment's thought, DM decides that he really doesn't want to know... "The weapons in _whose_ clothes?" Rio asked, looking at the DP. "Well, the twins started to play with the weapons that Kei and Yuri were packing. I decided to head off the inevitable Funny But Painful And Embarrassing blowup." Kei and Yuri looked at each other, then at the Rogers, then said in unison, "Well, _my_ Roger didn't forget that." Then they looked at the Rogers again, and at Rio, pondered what had just happened, and (inevitably) said, "IT'S NOT OUR FAULT!!!" "You're right," DM said grimly. "This is *Roger's* fault." "Yeah," Mudd put in angrily. "And as soon as we re-merge into him, we're gonna kick his @$$!" The assorted Lovely Ladies in the room paused and looked rather askance at their host(s). The House, meanwhile, was beginning to become increasingly less satisfied with Roger's reassurances. Various devices began to warm up... /No! Dammit, House, STAND DOWN! There are NO active hostiles present! Initiating any action NOW will only escalate the situation! Stand down NOW, dammit!/ /Is that so? The Twins are gone, there are two Galactic-Class Living Disasters pointing weapons at a CAoL member, not to MENTION my walls, and I'm not even going to start on what class Living Disaster YOU are! Do something!/ the house replied. DM looks at Mudd. "This is getting out of hand." "GETTING??? No $#!+, Sherlock. What are YOU gonna do about it?" "ME?!? I don't see *you* doing any -- no, I'm not doing this again. Let's re-merge and see if we can get a handle on this before it all blows up." /I'm Doing what I CAN! They are NOT pointing weapons AT Rio (get your sensors checked!), and they have nothing to do with the Twins' vanishment. But if you start a shooting war with THEM, NOW, you will add HOURS to the time it will take me to untangle this and start searching for the twins. Now STAND DOWN!!!/ The House's voice went drier than Bond's martinis. /Oh, of _course_ they're not pointing weapons _at_ anyone -- besides me, that is. As if that makes a difference to any living thing within 10 Astronomical Units of them. /And who needs to shoot? I can neutralize them without violence. That's a good thing, too, since starting a violent conflict with the Dirty Pair is tantamount to genocide./ The Rogers nodded to each other once, then stepped into each other as they re-merged...and clonked heads with a most satisfyingly solid that should disprove to all of Roger's detractors that his head is NOT hollow. Full of neutronium, perhaps, but not hollow. /Ouch, that had to hurt,/ the House added, not sounding at all sympathetic. After Roger failed to re-merge, Rio asked calmly, "Problem?" TBC... ================================= Subject: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 08:20:31 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010724 Recapping the last bit from Part 1... The Rogers nodded to each other once, then stepped into each other as they re-merged...and clonked heads with a most satisfyingly solid that should disprove to all of Roger's detractors that his head is NOT hollow. Full of neutronium, perhaps, but not hollow. /Ouch, that had to hurt,/ the House added, not sounding at all sympathetic. After Roger failed to re-merge, Rio asked calmly, "Problem?" The Rogers staggered apart, holding their foreheads and staring at each other in mounting horror. /House...dry up. I do NOT need this right now. And you are to take NO action unless the Angels start shooting indiscriminately. That is an ORDER. Otherwise, I will handle them myself. Now pipe down and stop adding needless complications to my/our tactical picture!/ "Uhh...this is bad," Mudd said. "I mean, REALLY bad. This only happened before when I...er, we...were undergoing an enforced period of MPD." "We're not separate entities, like Madrox Dupes -- we're one entity running several physicalities in simultaneous parallel. This can't happen!" DM looked grim. "Not unless we've been hacked. But the only people who could possibly hack our powers internally without using obvious, crushing force would be family members. Dad, Mom, Aunt Sil, or..." Both Roger's eyes went buggy. "THE TWINS!!!" The House chuckled dryly. /That didn't sound good. Now then. You don't have the authority to override my defense protocols. If they so much as bruise a plant leaf...as for the rest, I intend to recommend to the elder Phoenixes that your clearance be revoked, if that's going to be your attitude. The only reasons I haven't contacted them is a) this is their first date in a long time, and b) there's at least one person here with a level head./ Rio blinked. She'd never been complimented by a building before. "Um, Thanks." /My pleasure./ DM looked furious, and Mudd was downright pissed. "You know, I consider myself a reasonable immortal..." "But right now, siblingcide is looking rather attractive." "No, can't do it -- but I/We are going to give them SUCH a scolding when we get them back!" "Which leads to: How DO we get them back?" "Well, first, we gotta FIND them..." Realizing that Roger had his hands full with, well, Roger , Rio turned to the Angels. "Has anyone searched the house yet?" she asked calmly. Kei looked at Yuri. Yuri looked at Kei. "Well, DUH!" They immediately holstered their weapons (at which the House breathed a huge sigh of relief through its chimney) and began scrambling through the house yelling, "Rachel, Liam, cuties, come on, this is no time to give poor Rogi-poo a splitting headache! ow!" they added as a few peanuts fell on each of them. The Rogers ground their teeth in unison. /Oh? Well, MY recommendation is going to be that your discretionary intelligence be adjusted to prevent inflaming situations like...no. Forget it. I have too much going on to afford getting into a authoritarian pissing match with you. My Priority One, like yours, is FINDING the Twins. Now either help out or butt out./ "Kei, Yuri, take the lower floors, please. Rio, can you take the DR and the upstairs? We're going to start scanning the local spacetime locus for anything that might give us a trace of how and where they left." /Well it's about time,/ the House replied. /My sensors last record their presence in the family room, in front of the television./ /And at what time index did they drop out? And for that matter, why didn't you notice? Did they fox your sensors like they did me?/ The House *harrumphed* in a slightly embarrassed tone. /I imagine so. This {} is when they disappeared. My sensors detected no hostile presences, and you were...ah...my discretionary protocols prevent me from knowing your exact...ah...state at that time./ Rio failed to suppress a chuckle. "I think I can make a good guess..." she smirked at Roger. DM blinked. /But if you knew they had disappeared, why didn't you sound an alarm? I would have, er, dropped whatever I was doing in a nanosecond. Or did they manage to keep you from realizing they were gone? Playback loop on the video, right? Speaking of, let's see it -- most 'port styles have particular visual traces./ Mudd glanced at Rio. "Umm...Rio, luv...MUST you?" The House's chagrin increased. /Er. I was...in something resembling a slumber mode. I hadn't intended to be, but your...exploits...were distracting, and you know quite intimately how clever the children can be./ DM sympathized, giving the House a telepathic pat. /Ooooh, yes. But they've managed to surprise even me, this time -- somehow, the Sibling connection must have helped them find backdoor access into my powers. Well, no use crying over it -- let's move forwards./ Meanwhile, outside... "That was wonderful," Roland sighed, hugging Morgan close after he helped her out of the car. (OOC: Yes. They have a car. It's even an almost-normal car. They _do_ behave like normal Earth-9 residents on occasion .) "Yes, it was," Morgan replied. "We needed that more than I realized." As they walked toward the front door, she frowned. "I read _five_ people. Wonder who he has over?" Roland sighed. "Probably invited some future Callahanians. Oh well. At least the kids didn't blow up the city or anything." Meanwhile, inside, both Rogers suddenly stiffened with premonitions of doom. "By the pricking of my thumbs..." "Screw THAT, man -- We're gonna DIEEEEE!!!!" "Get a grip, Mudd! And get the seppuku knives!" Outside, Roland grimaced suddenly. "Morgan...why is the house...twitching?" The two looked at each other in growing horror, stared for a moment...then dashed for the door. To be met by Roger and Roger. "Uh, hi, Mom, Dad," they chorused weakly. "Um...we can explain...." "Roger?" Morgan started as the door flew open. ...then stopped, as she surveyed the scene. The Angels, having just arrived back in the front hall (in the same state of undress that they left it in) stared back at the Freelance Immortals in horror, and blurted, "IT'S NOT OUR FAULT!!!" The Rogers put their faces in their hands. "So much for getting an explanation in FIRST...." Roland (his math skills sharp as ever) counted the two Rogers, the Dirty Pair, and Rio, and asked in a low, dangerous voice... "Where. Are. Rachel. And. Liam." DM and Mudd exchanged grim looks, and faced their father like men. "We don't know. We're trying to track them down as we speak, but it would appear that they foxed us, and the House, and...took off." (OOC: Excuses would just get them fried, after all. Explanations are, OTOH, entirely appropriate.) Roland grimaced. "Ah." He looked at the Dirty Pair. "And exactly how...did they...'fox' you?" DM took point. "We can't re-merge. Each of us thought that we had an additional pair of dupes with the Twins at all times, but it appears that our internal status monitors were...fed misinformation." Roland glanced at the DP again, and back at the Rogers. "By whom?" DM grimaced. "By the Twins, I believe. It seems far-fetched, I know, but there are NO signs of the tampering, no forced entry, nothing. It would take someone who already lived in my brain part-time to do that. And that's a SHORT list." Morgan, meanwhile, was less interested in "how" as in "where." She addressed the House systems: "Play back Twins' last known coordinates." "In fact, House, play back full video and audio, and enhance. See if they said anything that can give us a clue," Mudd chimed in. /Working,/ the House replied, chagrined. The family room flared into holographic life, showing the Twins watching Bugs and Marvin. Nodding together, they decided on their course, and headed _through_ the TV to save Earth from the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. DM and Mudd stare at the holo, slack-jawed. "Well...*I* never did *that*....exactly." Roland glanced back and forth again. "And you weren't...busy, with anything else, at the time." The Rogers started to make a sharp reply, then visibly took a reign on their tempers. "Yes, we were...but we had all the bases covered *before* we started having fun. Or...we *thought* we had. The fact that we can't re-merge now indicates that something is wrong with my/our Duping abilities." /Only now, the Twins are gone and the Dirty Pair is _here._ This could result in a multiversal apocalypse!/ the House warned direly. Roland sighed. "To quote Mr. O'Connell...'you, lighten up, you, BIG trouble. You, get in the X-Window,'" he finished, pointing at the House, the Rogers, and the DP one after the other. An X-Window opened to the universe of the 3WA. Mudd rolled his eyes. "Calm *down,* House. The *Angels* aren't nearly as bad as they used to be." /And watch what you call them, please -- no need to *pointlessly* inflame already-frayed tempers./ DM and Mudd saw the Angels off. "Kei, Yuri, nice to see you, sorry about this, really *am* glad you stopped by, not your fault, no, I understand, yes, I'll call you once things get settled, no, you probably shouldn't stay and help, we've got it covered, yes, fine, kiss-kiss, goodnight, bye!" "Whew!" Morgan, meanwhile, had been doing a webdive (OOC: multi-dimensional, of course) to determine which iteration of the Warner-verse the Twins had ended up in. Mudd looked slightly cheered. "On the bright side, they're probably not in any real danger. I mean, can you *think* of a better combination of characters and universe?" Roland nodded, still deeply annoyed. "I want to check that myself. You're _probably_ right. I'm more worried about the Tooniverse than them at the moment. But still..." Morgan turned to Roland, a faint edge of panic in her voice. "I can't pin them down." "WHAT?" the Rogers chorused. "Oh, heck," DM added, suddenly looking enlightened. "That used to happen to *me* at that age." "Yeah," Mudd added, "That's why I was always so manic about keeping a dupe riding herd on each of them." "Since I couldn't have any fun, as a toddler, unless the Adults couldn't *find* me..." Roland concentrated. "I can't pick them up either." Then he blinked. "On the other hand, I could swear I heard someone...laughing at us." He sighed in relief. "The kids are okay. I just think the Tooniversal continuum is about to have some fun at our expense." Before Roger could reply, however, he added, "But DON'T think that gets you off the hook." He grinned maniacally. "In fact...I think _you_ can take point on this one." DM and Mudd looked at each other, then at Roland. "Right. It makes sense. Not to mention that there's probably some kind of Karmic irony thing going on here that currently escapes our understanding." Lightning flashed outside. "Oh, CUT IT OUT ALREADY!!!" Roland and Morgan turned to each other, and hugged fiercely for a long moment. "They're going to be okay," Roland reassured her. "The Tooniverse is probably in more trouble than they are." Morgan chuckled nervously. "Well, if we can't pin down their location, I guess we'll have to look for them the old-fashioned way." Roland nodded solemnly. "Time to call in the cavalry?" "And as for getting off the hook: who says we *want* off?" "Yeah," DM added, laughing hollowly, "after all, our primary responsibility, and we FUBAR'ed it. Time to hand in our badges." "Yep, and cancel our memberships. Maybe self-lobotomization?" "Nah, that would make us more dangerous. Halo-stripping, maybe. And collapsing pocketspace..." "Hmm...yeah. Should we do the Prometheus thing?" "No, I like my liver where it is, thanks. But we obviously don't belong in the hero biz anymore..." Roland sighed. "I'LL dole out the punishments here. Don't worry, though," he said, the manic grin returning, "I'll probably just assign you to play bodyguard...for Lynn Minmei or Sailor Moon. If I can't think of anyone 'better,' that is." The Rogers eyed Roland warily for a moment, then shrugged. "Whatever you say, Dad. We've got it coming." "Oh, STOP it!" Morgan barked at Roger. "My babies are missing, I don't need you disemboweling yourselves too!" DM blurted, before thinking, "But we weren't going to do it until AFTER we get the Twins back!" Mudd facepalmed. "Great going, Exlax..." Roland just shook his head again. "You know, this whole guilt thing takes all the fun out of coming up with the cruel and unusual. To quote Kirk, 'I'll kill you later.'" The Rogers brace to attention, their senses of humor obviously MIA: "YESSIR!" "YOU TOO!" Morgan snapped at Roland. ^Love, remember what happened to the Klingon he said that too?^ Roland sent privately. Morgan whimpered and threw her arms around Roland. Roland, at a loss (gee, whodathunk?) patted Morgan as reassuringly as possible. "Honey, honey...they're in the _Tooniverse._ Cuteness is like damage resistance there. Babies are inviolate. More indestructible than Kryptonians. Silver-Age ones. Created by gamer twinks." That finally got a chuckle from Morgan. "I love you," she replied softly. "He's right, Mom," the Rogers chorused. "We KNOW." "I mean, look at US," Mudd added with more enthusiasm than thought. DM grimaced. "That *might* not be the best meterstick, Mudd..." "You realize, of course," Morgan added, "part of the reason I don't want you to disembowel yourselves is so that _I_ can do it to you _later._" Her tone was obviously not serious. Well, not entirely. The Rogers looked like they wished she WAS serious. "Mom...we're...we're sorry." If they looked any lower, they'd be inverted singularities... "Well, if we have to do this ourselves, 'twere best done quickly,'" Roland sighed. /Calling all Callahanians, calling all Callahanians, SOS, Twins lost in Tooniverse, assistance appreciated soonest. Search and rescue -- rescuing the Tooniverse, that is -- needed ASAP.../ An X-Window opened from the family room to the Place. "And YOU two. If you mope any more, I'll call the Dirty Pair _back._ All hands on deck, you read me?" Roland snapped in full "dad" voice at the Rogers. "That's Lovely Angels, Dad," Mudd pointed out helpfully. DM slaped a hand over his mouth juuust too late. "Is it still paranoia when the universe really *is* out to get you?" "Rio, you're on Roger-watch," Roland added. "It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it." "Yes, _sir,_" Rio saluted mock-seriously. Then she looked at DM and Mudd. "Um, which one?" she asked Roland. Roland shrugged. "I'll let you two...uh, three...uh...Roger, Rio, _you_ work it out." The Rogers shrugged. "Well, I'm Dead Meat, and he's Mudd," Mudd said. "Hey! *I'm* Dead Meat, and *you're* Mudd!" "Oh, yeah, sorry. I always get us mixed up." "Geez, I can't believe I'm you..." "So, how do we find them," Mudd asks DM. "Well, we need to think like they do. Given our baseline similarities, it shouldn't be hard. They'll almost certainly be together -- resonance makes them more than twice as powerful together than they are apart, and they'll be difficult to separate against their wills." Morgan, needing an outlet for her nervous energy, started to straighten up the family room in preparation for the impending influx of guests. When the House started beating her to things, she began assembling a small personal arsenal. "Honey," Roland said soothingly (if a bit manically), "this is the Tooniverse. Guns don't work there. At least not for the person using them..." "Yeah, but they're having FUN," Mudd points out. "They don't WANT to be found." "So we find something they want more than running around trashing crunchies." "Like what?" "Umm...peanut butter & banana sandwiches?" "Er...no. Stories, maybe?" "They *know* all our stories. Well, all the G-rated ones." "How about candy?" "Get real. They can probably make their own, in a Tooniverse." "Okay, what if we give them a Real Big Baddie to go after." "Hmmm...I like the way you think. Keep going..." Roland gulped. "I guess, the best thing to do...is start at the beginning. And follow the mess." He looked closely at the holo of the TV screen. "Oy. Marvin the Martian. About a zillion more Martians. This is gonna _hurt..._" "'Just like momanpop,'" Morgan sighed. "Oboy..." -- The Phoenix Family and the Roger of Doom ================================= Subject: Re: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Fri, 1 Feb 2002 10:29:20 -0800 Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010725 >On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 08:20:31 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010724 > > "Well, if we have to do this ourselves, 'twere best done >quickly,'" Roland sighed. /Calling all Callahanians, calling all >Callahanians, SOS, Twins lost in Tooniverse, assistance appreciated >soonest. Search and rescue -- rescuing the Tooniverse, that is >needed ASAP.../ An X-Window opened from the family room to the Place. >"And YOU two. If you mope any more, I'll call the Dirty Pair _back._ >All hands on deck, you read me?" Roland snapped in full "dad" voice >at the Rogers. \Do you happen to know, Which Tooniverse was their original target?\ \Grampy and I are currently negotiating with 'The Old Man of the Mountain', For use of his caverns to host Betty's Birthday Party...\ \Perhaps if I work my way up from this side, While you follow them, We can intercept them a bit quicker...\ ================================= Subject: Re: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 17:46:45 -0800 Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010726 >Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010725 > >\Do you happen to know, > Which Tooniverse was their original target?\ > >\Grampy and I are currently negotiating with 'The Old Man of the >Mountain', > For use of his caverns to host Betty's Birthday Party...\ > >\Perhaps if I work my way up from this side, > While you follow them, > We can intercept them a bit quicker...\ Aurora appears in The Place, and walks through the open X-Window. /*"Oracle asked me to stand in for The Stardragon. It would like to help, but the Tooniverses are positively alive with paradox. For It to enter one would VERY quickly result in a destroyed Tooniverse. If you like it will attempt to localize them to a particular Tooniverse for us."*/ ================================= Subject: Re:AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 02:04:32 -0500 Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010727 Chronological Time: September 20, 2328 Location: Pacific Northwest, North America David leaned forward against the counter and sighed as he looked out over the green and granite mountain range before him. They'd buried Anstice, or Rene, rather, a couple days ago and David had come here to think. He glanced at the paper in front of him. Smart paper though it was, many people found his habit of actually reading the story on a page a bit archaic when the holographic chamber behind him could offer a far more stimulating version of events. Of course, David usually replied he could take the print copy out to read in the fresh air or anywhere. Apparently, Gage Blackwood had gotten himself into and out of some trouble in the time David had been away. Things were shaping up nicely for this universe, maybe soon, in a few thousand years, they'd come knocking on the dimensional barriers and could be released back into the mainstream multiverse. If they get over the humps he was foreseeing over the next few years and don't annihilate themselves in the proccess, he ought to be able to stop these occasional checkins to see how they were faring. On the other hand, he liked this place/time. They had a real respect for the past on this earth while still living in the 'future', which let him blend in nicely. And no one batted an eye at his Beatles recordings. [Though I do miss Starbucks,] he mused, sipping at the replicator's attempt at coffee, [Trying to blend beans properly with the Val-9000 is a real pain in the butt.] >On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 08:20:31 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010724 > > "Well, if we have to do this ourselves, 'twere best done >quickly,'" Roland sighed. /Calling all Callahanians, calling all >Callahanians, SOS, Twins lost in Tooniverse, assistance appreciated >soonest. Search and rescue -- rescuing the Tooniverse, that is >needed ASAP.../ An X-Window opened from the family room to the Place. >"And YOU two. If you mope any more, I'll call the Dirty Pair _back._ >All hands on deck, you read me?" Roland snapped in full "dad" voice >at the Rogers. David blinked, the hairs on his neck standing up. [Why do I have this sudden urge to visit Callahans? Dad's in Carving Age, Tink's secluded herself in subspace again. She gets more like Washu-chan every day. The twins are off doing their things in their home realities. Anna and Finn are storming a castle in England. Mom's with the Rangers for this week. And Inyu, Zora, Walkabout and Bernice are... oh, so that's what Bernice meant by 'girl's day out'. Okay, let them bond. The Maker knows they need it.] David walked across the room and picked up his gray leather jacket, sliding it over an arm. "C'mon, Keri-Ohki, let's go have a drink." Keri-Ohki meowed happily and leapt onto David's shoulder. David walked across the room, brushing his fingers across a rock wall, then walked straight through the solid surface. He appeared in the far corner of the parking lot and ran his fingers through his hair and across his eyebrows. [Chameleon hair net in place, check. Though, a man with a bunny on his shoulder is going to look strange enough. Inside, no biggie, of course, but for the few seconds it takes to get in, I'll indulge my inherent paranoia.] Entering the bar, David Marcus Seven was a six foot, copper-haired, light skinned human male of a lean, muscular build, approximately in his late twenties. Cleanshaven with curving eyebrows usually half-covered by his long bangs, he was handsome, but not overly so. His eyes were his most unusual feature, the left amber, the right opal. He wore a plain black cotton t-shirt, tucked into a grey pair of leather pants that were tucked into grey boots. Over his left arm was slung a grey motorcycle jacket, on his right shoulder sat a rabbit with markings like a siamese cat, blue eyes, brown face, paws, ears and tail, tan everywhere else. Looking around, David saw the X-window and blinked in surprise. Walking towards it, he peered through. "'Oh hell,'" he said, quoting his maternal grandfather, John Sheridan, "I've done a Roger." > Roland gulped. "I guess, the best thing to do...is start at the >beginning. And follow the mess." He looked closely at the holo of the >TV screen. "Oy. Marvin the Martian. About a zillion more Martians. >This is gonna _hurt..._" > >"'Just like momanpop,'" Morgan sighed. "Oboy..." David couldn't help but smirk, "Kids never grow out of that, not really." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sat, 02 Feb 2002 00:21:21 -0800 Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010728 >On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 17:46:45 -0800 >Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010726 Harlock is idly whiling away a few hours practicing various instruments when he notices: >Aurora appears in The Place, and walks through the open X-Window. [Aurora? Hmm. Methinks something big is in the offing. Best to make the muster quickly.] A quick chant, a little hand-waving, and the Bard appears in The Place, then heads for the X-Window. "Morgan? Roland? What seems to be the problem?" ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 03:43:32 EST Scott Osborne Said As CAoL Message # 00010729 >On Sat, 02 Feb 2002 00:21:21 -0800 >Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010728 > >[Aurora? Hmm. Methinks something big is in the offing. Best to make >the muster quickly.] A quick chant, a little hand-waving, and the >Bard appears in The Place, then heads for the X-Window. "Morgan? >Roland? What seems to be the problem?" Scott Osborne fades in. /"To answer your question, friend Harlock, I sense... a disturbance in the fabric around their home."/ Scott turns. /"A gateway has been opened, has it not, Sir Roland?"/ ================================= Subject: AAE8: Tooning Out On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 10:32:08 -0600 Martin and/or Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010730 >On Fri, 01 Feb 2K2, Morgan and Roland and Roger wrote > > "Well, if we have to do this ourselves, 't'were best done >quickly,'" Roland sighed. /Calling all Callahanians, calling all >Callahanians, SOS, Twins lost in Tooniverse, assistance appreciated >soonest. Search and rescue --- rescuing the Tooniverse, that is >needed ASAP.../ An X-Window opened from the family room to the Place. A sphere of light, a TP/Photokinesis construct, appeared floating in mid-air in the Phoenixes' Living Room, showing the head and face of everyone's favorite Ruby Fire Lensdragon. The view trucked back a bit as a dragon-sized smirk crossed the Big Guy's face. Counting off the fingers of one hand, Dhyrclhanc said, "Received. Understood. On. My. Way." He turns away and then turns back to face whatever he's using as a camera and added. "Piece of advice Sib, next time you and "Momma Mo'" want a Night on the Town by the Bay, ask *me* to watch to the Wonder Twins, dramatic plot imperative, or no dramatic plot imperative." At which point, the sphere winks out of existence. Only to be replaced by an earth-shattering Boom. At which point, anyone looking out into the backyard will see Dhyrclhanc and a strange opalescent colored wedge or melted plastic arrowhead falling out of a Boom-Tube. ooo^ Nice to see you added those sound baffles to the garden since I was here last, Sis. If nothing else, Sibs, this'll convince you to invite me to here more often. ^ooo [Two Sweet-Pea-level mobile disaster areas let loose in the Toon-tinuum portions of the Omniverse .] ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 10:19:48 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010731 London, England. In a small flat, the breakfast dishes have been washed, the morning paper has been read, and Rob Nishikawa is going out. [It's a good day to be me. No spies, assassins, kidnappings, or inexplicable murders in months, I'm paid up on my rent for the next three months, and I haven't heard the 'you need to be somewhere else' alert in a while now.] *ping* [Speak of the devil...] >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010724 > > "Well, if we have to do this ourselves, 'twere best done >quickly,'" Roland sighed. /Calling all Callahanians, calling all >Callahanians, SOS, Twins lost in Tooniverse, assistance appreciated >soonest. Search and rescue -- rescuing the Tooniverse, that is >needed ASAP.../ An X-Window opened from the family room to the Place. >"And YOU two. If you mope any more, I'll call the Dirty Pair _back._ >All hands on deck, you read me?" Roland snapped in full "dad" voice >at the Rogers. [Rescuing the Tooniverse?! Oooookaaaay...this is going to be different. First things first, though. Utilities, rental, and what do I do with my stuff...aha!] Picking up the phone, he dials a number. "Steed residence." "Tara, this is Robert Nishikawa." "Robert? Is something wrong?" "No. What would make you think that?" "The only time we hear from each other is when somebody is in trouble." "That's not true. I called you on Christmas to wish you a happy holiday..." "And somebody tried to blow up my car. "Good point. In any case, I'm not in trouble, I just got a...long-distance call. Some friends need my help, and this might take a while. I wanted to know if you and John could clear out my flat. Keep what you like, give the rest to charity, that sort of thing. You have my spare key still?" "Yes. You're sure you don't need anything?" "Walking on sunshine, Mrs. Steed." "Good. We'll take care of it this weekend." "Good day, Tara." "Good day, Mr. Nishikawa." [Nice couple. I still find that twenty-year gap odd, but it's none of my business. Now, about the utilities...] Thirty-seven minutes later, a call goes out. /Rob Nishikawa here. Sorry to keep you folks waiting. I had to clean up some things before I could move out. Would somebody open up an X-window, or come fetch me, or something?/ ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 11:58:40 -0800 Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010732 >On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 10:19:48 -0800 (PST) >Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010731 > >Thirty-seven minutes later, a call goes out. /Rob Nishikawa here. >Sorry to keep you folks waiting. I had to clean up some things before >I could move out. Would somebody open up an X-window, or come fetch >me, or something?/ A 10cm long Toon dragon wearing a wizards hat, Sneeks out from under a piece of furniture, Looking around it sees Rob... "Right then, Are we ready to be off?" Pulling a wand out from under it's right wing, Waving the wand and puffing glowing smoke runes, <1> a Toon Door is drawn, Colored and Animated on a nearby wall. "If you will just get the door...." When Rob opens the door, A matching door manifests in the hall of the Pheonix Home, Opening to let them through... The Toon Dragon follows Rob through... "Both Doors will fade out when this one is closed." <1: The Rune style is a give-away, Nemisis is behind this somewhere... ;) Some of the runes used were Pheonix IFF for the House systems...> ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 22:46:53 -0800 Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010734 >On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 08:20:31 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010724 > > "Well, if we have to do this ourselves, 'twere best done >quickly,'" Roland sighed. /Calling all Callahanians, calling all >Callahanians, SOS, Twins lost in Tooniverse, assistance appreciated >soonest. Search and rescue -- rescuing the Tooniverse, that is >needed ASAP.../ An X-Window opened from the family room to the Place. >"And YOU two. If you mope any more, I'll call the Dirty Pair _back._ >All hands on deck, you read me?" Roland snapped in full "dad" voice >at the Rogers. \While I would like to help, In this situation it would be a Bad Idea, For some reason, Immediately On Arrival, Tooniverses seem to cast me as the Heavy, Size, Task List, Persona, or Goal of the Split, Seems to have no significance...\ \If you require every weapon or trap, Within a radius of five miles to hit a specific point, Send me the coordinates, I will gate a Split in to draw their fire...\ \For other purposes, I have sent 'The Lizard of Oz', To assist you in your search, I designed him specifically as, A Tooniverse Explorer... He passed His field tests perfectly...\ ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sun, 3 Feb 2002 11:02:02 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010735 >Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010732 > >A 10cm long Toon dragon wearing a wizards hat, > Sneaks out from under a piece of furniture, > Looking around it sees Rob... > >"Right then, Are we ready to be off?" Rob blinks. [Either I'm in the tooniverse right now, or there's a cartoon dragon in my flat. Or, I suppose I could be off. Off base, off kilter, off the wall...] "Um, yes, I'm ready to go." >Pulling a wand out from under it's right wing, > Waving the wand and puffing glowing smoke runes, <1> > a Toon Door is drawn, Colored and Animated on a nearby wall. > >"If you will just get the door...." Rob pulls on the doorknob, and the entire door comes off. A quick examination reveals two things: First, the door has all the weight of balsa wood. Second, there were no hinges. "I'm sorry, I think I took 'get the door' a little too literally." >When Rob opens the door, > A matching door manifests in the hall of the Phoenix Home, > Opening to let them through... Or a doorway, anyhow. >The Toon Dragon follows Rob through... > >"Both Doors will fade out when this one is closed." Rob tucks the door under his arm, and steps through the doorway. Turning around, he examines the doorway, then shrugs and puts the door back in the doorway. Careful observers would notice that he accidentally put it in upside down. Rob, being a bit too confused by meeting a cartoon dragon, only notices the door fading out. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sun, 3 Feb 2002 15:36:14 -0800 Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010736 >On Sun, 3 Feb 2002 11:02:02 -0800 (PST) >Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010735 > >Rob pulls on the doorknob, and the entire door comes off. A quick >examination reveals two things: First, the door has all the weight of >balsa wood. Second, there were no hinges. [Perhaps I should inform him that I am not Actually a Toon or Doodle... No I don't think so, He obviously needs practice dealing with the concept, Before arrival in a Toon Realm.] >"I'm sorry, I think I took 'get the door' a little too literally." "Don't worry about it young sir, Just a Minor humor..." "Hmmm, You do know the Basic law of Toon Realities, Don't you?" >Rob tucks the door under his arm, and steps through the doorway. >Turning around, he examines the doorway, then shrugs and puts the >door back in the doorway. Careful observers would notice that he >accidentally put it in upside down. Rob, being a bit too confused by >meeting a cartoon dragon, only notices the door fading out. "Right this way..." Taking to "The Wing" as it were, He flies down the hall into the Family Room.. Landing on top of the Back of a Recliner, He Introduces himself... "I am The Lizard of Oz, A Creation of The Lady Nemisis, Able to traverse Toon Realms as a Native" "I stopped off and picked up Rob enroute, From helping Danger Mouse setup a new Toad Trap." ;) While he was Talking he faded from a "Rainbow Paisly" pattern, To a More Nuetral Grey-Black Tweed... ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:06:28 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010737 >>On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 08:20:31 -0800 >>Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010724 >> >> "Well, if we have to do this ourselves, 'twere best done >>quickly,'" Roland sighed. /Calling all Callahanians, calling all >>Callahanians, SOS, Twins lost in Tooniverse, assistance appreciated >>soonest. Search and rescue -- rescuing the Tooniverse, that is >>needed ASAP.../ An X-Window opened from the family room to the >>Place. "And YOU two. If you mope any more, I'll call the Dirty Pair >>_back._ All hands on deck, you read me?" Roland snapped in full >>"dad" voice at the Rogers. And, as family will do when called in time of need, the various members of the Callahanian Army of Light began congregating in the Phoenix-Greywolf family room. >On Fri, 1 Feb 2002 10:29:20 -0800 >Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010725 > >\Do you happen to know, > Which Tooniverse was their original target?\ /"We know that they went to a Marvin the Martian 'blow up the earth' platform, from a late 50s Bugs Bunny cartoon,"/ Roland replied. /"We can't quite pin down which variation they ended up in, however. I'm working on the X-Window tuner as we speak--send--ah, you get it."/ >\Perhaps if I work my way up from this side, > While you follow them, > We can intercept them a bit quicker...\ /"Somehow, I don't think the Tooniverse is going to make it that simple,"/ Morgan sighed. Then: >On Fri, 01 Feb 2002 17:46:45 -0800 >Dane Said As CAoL Message # 00010726 > >Aurora appears in The Place, and walks through the open X-Window. > > /*"If you like it will attempt to localize them to a >particular Tooniverse for us."*/ /"NO!!!"/ Roland blurted. /"Uh, I mean, that's really nice of It, but I don't think we want to risk starting a pissing contest between the Stardragon and the Tooniverse. _Especially_ while our children are _in_ the Tooniverse."/ Roland hugged Morgan in an effort to soothe her, then realized a moment later he needed it just as badly -- at least. [The Stardragon versus the Tooniverse. Ick.] Then: >On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 02:04:32 -0500 >Mike Knight Said As CAoL Message # 00010727 > >Looking around, David saw the X-window and blinked in surprise. >Walking towards it, he peered through. > >"'Oh hell,'" he said, quoting his maternal grandfather, John >Sheridan, "I've done a Roger." Morgan blinked at the not-quite-familiar face, then put the face and not-entirely-human physiology she sensed together and came up with a name. "Hello! You must be David Seven. Come on in," she smiled. Roland's expression turned into a lop-sided grin/frown. [So much for watching him grow up. Wait a minute, paradoxes are this lot's bread-and-butter.] /"'Pull a Roger.' I hope the twins don't get any ideas."/ He chuckled. /"You're certainly welcome, but I think it's only fair warning to tell you that this situation is weird, even by CAoL standards."/ Then: >On Sat, 02 Feb 2002 00:21:21 -0800 >Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010728 > >A quick chant, a little hand-waving, and the Bard appears in The >Place, then heads for the X-Window. "Morgan? Roland? What seems to be >the problem?" Morgan looked puzzled for a moment. [Duh, Morgan. Not _everyone_ in this bunch is a telepath.] "Short version: the twins have somehow escaped their big brothers' supposedly watchful eyes and 'ported themselves into a Looney Tunes universe to 'save the earth' from Marvin the Martian. The problem is, so far we haven't been able to pin down _which_ hyperthread, and we have a nasty feeling that the Tooniverse is on their side." Then: >On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 10:32:08 -0600 >Dhyrclhanc Said As CAoL Message # 00010730 > >"Piece of advice Sib, next time you and "Momma Mo'" want a Night on >the Town by the Bay, ask *me* to watch to the Wonder Twins, dramatic >plot imperative, or no dramatic plot imperative." Roland glanced sideways at the Rogers. While they seemed to be seriously (albeit morosely) going about their duties, just behind them each had a little 'toon angelic Roger with his hands cuffed behind him and his head on a wooden block, and a little 'toon demon Roger grinning evilly and holding an enormous (for an inch-high Roger, anyway) axe, fingering the edge with anticipation. "I think Roger's beating himself up as it is," Roland noted generously. >At which point, the sphere winks out of existence. Only to be >replaced by an earth-shattering Boom. "I am SO glad Titania had the foresight to include inertial dampeners in the house," Morgan sighed. /"Well, at least we know where Marvin's 'earth-shattering kaboom' went,"/ Roland commented dryly, in an attempt to lighten the mood. >At which point, anyone looking out into the backyard will see >Dhyrclhanc and a strange opalescent colored wedge or melted plastic >arrowhead falling out of a Boom-Tube. > >ooo^ Nice to see you added those sound baffles to the garden since I >was here last, Sis. If nothing else, Sibs, this'll convince you to >invite me to here more often. ^ooo ooo^Not to mention a few other sorts of shields,^ooo Morgan grinned. ooo^We _are_ trying to maintain secret identities here, sib.^ooo (OOC: I'm going to assume he takes an appropriately-sized form to join them in the house.) Then: >On Sat, 2 Feb 2002 22:46:53 -0800 >Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010734 > >\While I would like to help, > In this situation it would be a Bad Idea, > For some reason, > Immediately On Arrival, > Tooniverses seem to cast me as the Heavy, > Size, Task List, Persona, or Goal of the Split, > Seems to have no significance...\ > >\If you require every weapon or trap, > Within a radius of five miles to hit a specific point, > Send me the coordinates, > I will gate a Split in to draw their fire...\ /I'll keep that in mind,/ Roland and Morgan sent in unintended unison, then smiled at each other. >\For other purposes, > I have sent 'The Lizard of Oz', > To assist you in your search, > I designed him specifically as, > A Tooniverse Explorer... > He passed His field tests perfectly...\ /"Lizard of...?"/ Morgan began, when... >On Sun, 3 Feb 2002 15:36:14 -0800 >The Lizard of Oz Said As CAoL Message # 00010736 > >>On Sun, 3 Feb 2002 11:02:02 -0800 (PST) >>Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010735 >> >>>Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010732 >>> >>>When Rob opens the door, >>> A matching door manifests in the hall of the Phoenix Home, >>> Opening to let them through... >> >>Or a doorway, anyhow. >> >>>The Toon Dragon follows Rob through... /"Ah, _that_ lizard."/ Morgan concluded. Roland turned, unfazed by a doorway appearing in his house (it's already happened a few times in the last minute or two, after all) -- but he _was_ a bit nonplussed by the sight of Rob holding the door that belonged to it, by the doorknob, in one hand. "'Toon carpentry, Rob?" >>Rob tucks the door under his arm, and steps through the doorway. >>Turning around, he examines the doorway, then shrugs and puts the >>door back in the doorway. Careful observers would notice that he >>accidentally put it in upside down. Rob, being a bit too confused by >>meeting a cartoon dragon, only notices the door fading out. Roland started to tilt his head to one side, looking at the door curiously, when the whole thing vanished. "Was that...ah, skip it. Sprockin' Tooniverse already leaking in." >"Right this way..." > >Taking to "The Wing" as it were, > He flies down the hall into the Family Room.. (OOC: Can we retcon this so they came into the family room in the first place? It'd make our earlier responses fit better. ) >Landing on top of the Back of a Recliner, > He Introduces himself... > >"I am The Lizard of Oz, > A Creation of The Lady Nemisis, > Able to traverse Toon Realms as a Native" > >"I stopped off and picked up Rob enroute, > From helping Danger Mouse setup a new Toad Trap." ;) > >While he was Talking he faded from a "Rainbow Paisly" pattern, > To a More Nuetral Grey-Black Tweed... (OOC: Actually, there was a Royal Stewart tartan throw on the back of that chair .) (OOC-R: "CAN'T...DO...PLAID!" *THUD* --The Chameleon, "The Tick") "Thanks, and welcome to the party," Morgan said to the diminutive lizard. She looked around the room and smiled. "Gotta love family. OK, this is the situation..." As Morgan filled in any CAoL members who needed a recap, Roland went to work on the TV, trying to get them a starting point. "Mrrm grrr...Kirby fields...rassm frassm...hypertime static...grumble gripe...physics on vacation..." Roland snarled in a constant low patter as he applied several arcane super-verse widgets to the toonified TV. Rio walked over to the TV and addressed Roland quietly. "Mr. Phoenix?" She pressed a couple of buttons on her MP3 player (yes, it's a Rio, long story ), and to the strains of "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" an image of the twins walking into the TV appeared above them. "Does that help?" Roland looked up as Rio addressed him, eyebrow spocked. Then the song burst from the speakers and the image appeared, and with a "BLIF!" Roland fell back onto his rump, staring balefully at it. Then, a moment later, he focused on it...and smiled. "Mmm...yes, Rio. That'll do nicely, thank you." He paused, looking thoughtful. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that an Ecstatic has the Looney Tunes theme programmed in her MP3 player." Rio's eyes were wide. "Actually, I didn't. I was going to use something else, but that just started playing." Roland nodded, beyond surprise. "Ah. That would account for the volume..." (OOC: No one _else_ thought that it was uncomfortably loud--unless, of course, it'd be funnier that way. ) He put his hand in the image, and his eyes glowed a pale blue. Then he touched the TV. The screen flared to life, and the maze-like Martian platform appeared, littered with the debris of flying saucer remains and Illudium-powered-super-cannon bits, as well as several unconscious and/or Boggled Martians. Marvin himself was merely a battered helmet, eyes, and a pair of sneakers. He sighed, "Oh, well, back to the old drawing-board." Nearby, Bugs was just laughing himself silly. "So," Morgan was concluding, "Near as I can figure, we go to the Martian platform, hopefully find the twins nearby, and if not follow up on any leads. If we have to do that, we'll probably have to split up." She sighed and smiled. "As me cousin Seosaidh used to say, 'No battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.' And to paraphrase Ford Prefect, 'The Tooniverse, doubly so.' Ah, you got it working," she said to Roland with a relieved voice. "No, I didn't," Roland replied too calmly. "I had gotten the resonance of the dimension with Rio's help, and was about to start using it to 'tune' the TV in...when it turned on by itself." "You helped, big boy," the TV replied in a sultry Jessica Rabbit voice, as the top and bottom became large feminine lips with bright red lipstick. Then 'she' breathed in. The resulting vortex was massively powerful, but under other circumstances this would have been a minor obstacle for any CAoL member. Alas, the laws of physics had been vetoed by the Toon Continuum. The entire group present went flying into the TV, Roland and Morgan yanked in (head)first... TBC... ================================= Subject: AAE8: Tooning In On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:11:50 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010738 Roland and Morgan appeared the tooniverse high above Marvin's Martian platform. Roland's semi-formal clothing from their "date" had turned into Duck Dodgers' uniform, but he lacked a duck's wings; both were falling at a precipitous rate, despite their many and varied powers. "AAAH!" Roland howled. Then he looked at Morgan, falling right beside him, and frowned. "Hey, wait, that's not right. Beautiful redheads are almost as inviolate as cute kids." Morgan sprouted a parachute the moment the words left his lips. "That's better. AAAAAAAHHHH!" Roland shot past Morgan, who (in spite of the lack of atmosphere) had begun floating lazily down. Morgan had already changed into something more suited to adventuring while they were waiting for the Callahanians to arrive, but now she found herself wearing a grey skin-tight cat-suit, complete with matching high-heeled boots. Not wanting her hunny to go *splat* (Toon Continuum or no), she used her JL Power Ring to create a large pillow beneath him to cushion his fall. Of course, this being the tooniverse, it was a foot to the left. "oops," Morgan winced as Roland made quite an impression on the Martians. "ow...ow...ow..." Roland managed to pull his arms out of the perfectly Roland-shaped dent he'd made. He then used them to pull his head out, and a moment later he was free (if rather accordion-shaped). A toon Weird Al suddenly appeared, played the first bar of "My Bologna" on him, saw the look on his wife's face, yelped, and vanished in a puff of "zip" smoke. Roland shook himself out, returning to his usual shape (except for looking like a feline cartoon version of himself) as Morgan landed gently on the pillow she'd created for him. "Well, I feel sheeeepish," she said, looking slightly ewe-like briefly. Next to her, a meercat appeared, leaning his elbow on the pillow. "It stahts," he said resignedly, and vanished with a "puff." Morgan looked at Roland, giggling nervously. Alas, nearly all toon males turn part wolf at the sight of a gorgeous woman (doubly so with Tex Avery redheads), and he was smiling in a rather predatory manner. "Rrrroww," he said emphatically. Then Morgan pulled a frying pan out from under the pillow, and *whanged* him with it. He shook his head afterwards, and other than the foot-tall lump on his head, he was back to normal. "Sorry, love. Back to business." He looked around the landscape as the rest of the CAoL came to rest...er...wherever they had landed. (Pause to let everyone arrive...er..."safely" isn't exactly the right word, is it? ;^) "Well, the good news is the kids didn't have any trouble with this bunch. The bad news is the kids didn't have any trouble with this bunch. They're already gone." Roland pulled up his pants (which had reappeared, replacing the Duck Dodgers uniform), looking around knowingly. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about the Martia--" Roland clapped his hands to his mouth, eyes wide with shock. Too late. The Martians revived instantly. All zillion of them. In the exact same moment, they had all sprung to their feet and surrounded the Freelance Immortals and everyone with them. A strange "dooka-dooka-dooka-DOOKA" sound echoed around them, and the green vulture-headed Martian warriors parted to let whatever was making the sound pass. Soon Marvin, very angry indeed, was staring at the newcomers. "My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! What have you done with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?" And that's your cue...let the looniness begin! ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Sun, 3 Feb 2002 23:43:31 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010739 >Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010736 > >>Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010735 >> >>"I'm sorry, I think I took 'get the door' a little too literally." > >"Don't worry about it young sir, > Just a Minor humor..." > >"Hmmm, > You do know the Basic law of Toon Realities, > Don't you?" Rob attempts to mimic the voices, but only Roger Rabbit sounds right: "You mean you could've slipped those cuffs at any time?!" "Oh, no, Eddie! Only when it was funny!" >"Right this way..." > >Taking to "The Wing" as it were, > He flies down the hall into the Family Room.. Rob pauses anywhere that there is something interesting to look at - family photos, mementoes, knick-knacks, or whatever. Fortunately, this is a relatively dull hall, so he makes it to the family room in under three minutes. >Landing on top of the Back of a Recliner, > He Introduces himself... > >"I am The Lizard of Oz, > A Creation of The Lady Nemisis, > Able to traverse Toon Realms as a Native" > >"I stopped off and picked up Rob enroute, > From helping Danger Mouse setup a new Toad Trap." ;) > >While he was Talking he faded from a "Rainbow Paisley" pattern, > To a More Neutral Grey-Black Tweed... "Pleased to meet you, good Lizard," Rob replies, offering to shake hands. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 02:16:56 -0800 Harlock - Bard Extraordinaire Said As CAoL Message # 00010740 >On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:06:28 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010737 > >Morgan looked puzzled for a moment. [Duh, Morgan. Not _everyone_ in >this bunch is a telepath.] "Short version: the twins have somehow >escaped their big brothers' supposedly watchful eyes and 'ported >themselves into a Looney Tunes universe to 'save the earth' from >Marvin the Martian. The problem is, so far we haven't been able to >pin down _which_ hyperthread, and we have a nasty feeling that the >Tooniverse is on their side." Harlock was still trying to assimilate this summary when... >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010738 > > Roland and Morgan appeared the tooniverse high above Marvin's >Martian platform. As did Harlock. Seeing the distance to the ground, he started frantically rummaging through his pouches, muttering "feather fall, feather fall, I know there's a ring of feather fall in here somewhere" and absent-mindedly (?!) leaving a trail of detritus behind him as he fell. "Aha!" he exclaimed in triumph just as *splat!* the platform caught up to him. He had just managed to pry himself loose from the ground when Morgan landed. And as has been noted... > Alas, nearly all toon males turn part wolf at the sight of a >gorgeous woman (doubly so with Tex Avery redheads), and [Roland] was >smiling in a rather predatory manner. Harlock, being already somewhat of a wolf, went into an all-out wild take: his head turned into that of a wolf, he whistled, his heart started beating out of his rib-cage, his eyes popped out of their sockets and rolled around on the floor, and his tongue unrolled to a length of ten feet. "Umm...A bit of cultural detail I seem to have missed. What in the name of all that's holy _is_ a cartoon?" The Bard's head, it should be noted, did _not_ revert to its baseline state. Unfortunately, before anybody could manage an explanation, Roland goofed and... > A strange "dooka-dooka-dooka-DOOKA" sound echoed around them, and >the green vulture-headed Martian warriors parted to let whatever was >making the sound pass. Soon Marvin, very angry indeed, was staring at >the newcomers. > "My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! What have you done >with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?" Bewildered by this turn of events, Harlock stuck a hand into one of his pouches and pulled out...bongos. An inch-high wolf-headed Harlock with devil horns and a tail appeared on his left shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Still not quite sure what was going on, the Bard started playing a conga rhythm as the devil-Harlock vanished with a triumphant grin. As the conga music swelled, some of the Martians started swaying to the beat. Harlock started a conga line and a Million Martian March started up. The Bard led the conga line up to a doorway to nowhere and stepped aside at the last minute. The Martians, still conga-ing away, stepped through the doorway and fell to the surface. Please note that Harlock only took care of a million of the zillion present. And it was funny. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 07:40:01 -0800 "The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010741 > On Sun, 3 Feb 2002 23:43:31 -0800 (PST) >Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010739 > >>Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010736 >> >>"Hmmm, >> You do know the Basic law of Toon Realities, >> Don't you?" > >Rob attempts to mimic the voices, but only Roger Rabbit sounds right: > >"You mean you could've slipped those cuffs at any time?!" >"Oh, no, Eddie! Only when it was funny!" "That is the Root of it." [Perhaps he will be ok, As long as he keeps that in mind.] >"Pleased to meet you, good Lizard," Rob replies, offering to shake >hands. "And I am please to Meet you as well." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 10:18:09 -0800 (PST) Rob N Said As CAoL Message # 00010742 >On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:11:50 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010738 > > Roland and Morgan appeared the tooniverse high above Marvin's >Martian platform. Roland's semi-formal clothing from their "date" had >turned into Duck Dodgers' uniform, but he lacked a duck's wings; both >were falling at a precipitous rate, despite their many and varied >powers. Rob, oddly, appeared without major clothing changes; he'd turned to pen-and-ink, but he still wore blue jeans, jeans jacket over white mock turtleneck, and Nike...er, Acme walking shoes. As if to compensate for his relative immutability, he was not above the Martian platform, but off to the side by about fifteen feet. (Snip In Which Morgan and Roland Alight and A-heavy, Respectively.) Searching his pockets, Rob discovered that the only thing of obvious use was something he didn't have before - an Acme Grappling Pistol. Unfortunately, by the time he could fire it, he was past the platform, with a fairly high velocity. The grappling claw caught the edge, clamping on as advertised, and forcing the street fighter into an arc which ended predictably. *SPLUNCH* A Rob-shaped bump formed in the platform, just to one side of Roland. Pushing off from his ending point, Rob managed to swing himself back to the upper side of the platform, only to have the grappling claw let go, sending him smack into a handy wall. After this, the slide down the wall was almost anticlimactic, except for the part about landing head-first. A small sign appeared in Rob's hand. +-------+ | Ow... | +-------+ | | |_| > "Well, the good news is the kids didn't have any trouble with this >bunch. The bad news is the kids didn't have any trouble with this >bunch. They're already gone." Roland pulled up his pants (which had >reappeared, replacing the Duck Dodgers uniform), looking around >knowingly. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about the Martia--" > Roland clapped his hands to his mouth, eyes wide with shock. Too >late. While Rob was 'out of frame,' he somehow was restored to 'like new' condition. A thought balloon floated over his head, with a "?!" and a caricature of his jacket. Attempting to run inventory, Rob rapidly pulled out and replaced several things, including a box of Acme Miniature Anvils, a mallet, a safe, and an autographed picture of Jessica Rabbit. > The Martians revived instantly. All zillion of them. In the exact >same moment, they had all sprung to their feet and surrounded the >Freelance Immortals and everyone with them. > A strange "dooka-dooka-dooka-DOOKA" sound echoed around them, and >the green vulture-headed Martian warriors parted to let whatever was >making the sound pass. Soon Marvin, very angry indeed, was staring at >the newcomers. > "My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! What have you done >with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?" Rob had finally managed to find something he -did- recognize from before entering the Tooniverse: a small red firecracker. Darkness shrouded him. Looking up, he saw a mass of Martians ringing him, each one fixing him with a beady stare. +-----------+ | Oh, dear. | +-----------+ | | |_| Suddenly, Martians were rushing the young warrior from all sides. The resulting fight raised a cloud of dust, with an occasional head, foot, or wing poking out. Rob, being no fool, pushed his way out of the melee, blocking punches and kicks as he put his back against a wall...and nobody followed him. He stood there. The fight raged on. He scratched his head in confusion. The fight raged on. Then, two Martians flew out of the fight to land at Rob's feet. Taking each one by the shoulder, he lifted them up in preparation for smashing their heads together - when they each grabbed a hand, and shook said appendage vigorously. Then they turned, and rushed back to the dust cloud, and dove in. Rob held his hands palm-up, and shrugged. Above him, a thought balloon formed, with a picture of a Martian, an equals sign, a screw, and a baseball. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 15:47:45 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010743 In a message dated 2/4/02 2:17:44 AM Eastern Standard Time, ljwolfe writes: > Roland glanced sideways at the Rogers. While they seemed to be >seriously (albeit morosely) going about their duties, just behind >them each had a little 'toon angelic Roger with his hands cuffed >behind him and his head on a wooden block, and a little 'toon demon >Roger grinning evilly and holding an enormous (for an inch-high >Roger, anyway) axe, fingering the edge with anticipation. > "I think Roger's beating himself up as it is," Roland noted >generously. OOC: All hail the great Roland-Sama! He has truly grasped the Essence of That Which is Roger. . Seriously, that's a perfect image. Now, how to have fun with it.... >/"Lizard of...?"/ Morgan began, when... "Oz," one of the Rogers offers pedantically without interrupting whatever Important Stuff t/he/y were doing. >/"Ah, _that_ lizard."/ Morgan concluded. > > Roland turned, unfazed by a doorway appearing in his house (it's >already happened a few times in the last minute or two, after all) >but he _was_ a bit nonplussed by the sight of Rob holding the door >that belonged to it, by the doorknob, in one hand. > "'Toon carpentry, Rob?" Dead Meat and Mudd exchange a look. "You think?" "Yes, it looks like puns are taking on a literal life of their own." "Well, that means we're going to be either galactically outgunned, or apocalyptically overpowered." "Bets?" "Nuh-uh." > Roland started to tilt his head to one side, looking at the door >curiously, when the whole thing vanished. "Was that...ah, skip it. >Sprockin' Tooniverse already leaking in." Dead Meat leans over to Mudd. "You think maybe Someone is trying to give us a lesson in humility?" Mudd frowns. "You-and-me us, or CAoL-us?" "Ummm...." >>While he was Talking he faded from a "Rainbow Paisly" pattern, >> To a More Nuetral Grey-Black Tweed... > >(OOC: Actually, there was a Royal Stewart tartan throw on the back of >that chair .) > > (OOC-R: "CAN'T...DO...PLAID!" *THUD* --The Chameleon, "The Tick") OOC: ROTFLMAO > "Mrrm grrr...Kirby fields...rassm frassm...hypertime static... >grumble gripe...physics on vacation..." Roland snarled in a constant >low patter as he applied several arcane super-verse widgets to the >toonified TV. Given his...er, their...nature, one might expect the Rogers would be ideally suited to dealing with the Tooniverse's...idiosyncrasies. But the two of them are propping up the walls in a corner by the TV, hands in pockets, with a nearly palpable air of "If we touch it, it'll blow up." (typical self-induced guilt-trip overcompensation for the hyperactive) >He paused, looking thoughtful. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that >an Ecstatic has the Looney Tunes theme programmed in her MP3 player." > >Rio's eyes were wide. "Actually, I didn't. I was going to use >something else, but that just started playing." The Rogers stiffen and stand away from the walls in unison. "Setup." > The screen flared to life, and the maze-like Martian platform >appeared, littered with the debris of flying saucer remains and >Illudium-powered-super-cannon bits, as well as several unconscious >and/or Boggled Martians. Marvin himself was merely a battered helmet, >eyes, and a pair of sneakers. He sighed, "Oh, well, back to the old >drawing-board." Nearby, Bugs was just laughing himself silly. "Bugs." "Great. Just sprocking GREAT." "Think he did this?" "mmmmNo. Not his style. Won't pass up the chance to stir things up more, though." "Should we ask for his help?" "Not unless the Twins are somewhere after a left turn at Albequerque." > "You helped, big boy," the TV replied in a sultry Jessica Rabbit >voice, as the top and bottom became large feminine lips with bright >red lipstick. Then 'she' breathed in. > The resulting vortex was massively powerful, but under other >circumstances this would have been a minor obstacle for any CAoL >member. Alas, the laws of physics had been vetoed by the Toon >Continuum. The entire group present went flying into the TV, Roland >and Morgan yanked in (head)first... "I can only conclude," one of the Rogers intones gravely _en_route_, "that I am paying off Karma at a *vastly* accellerated rate..." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 15:47:43 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010744 In a message dated 2/2/02 2:17:01 AM Eastern Standard Time, technomagetimelord writes: >David walked across the room and picked up his gray leather jacket, >sliding it over an arm. "C'mon, Keri-Ohki, let's go have a drink." OOC: Keri-Ohki? Mike, peanuts. Peanuts, Mike. Have fun. 88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 >"'Oh hell,'" he said, quoting his maternal grandfather, John >Sheridan, "I've done a Roger." Back home, Mudd and Dead Meat twitch slightly. "Did someone just take my name in vain?" ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 15:47:46 EST SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010745 In a message dated 2/4/02 2:17:49 AM Eastern Standard Time, ljwolfe writes: >Morgan had already changed into something more suited to adventuring >while they were waiting for the Callahanians to arrive, but now she >found herself wearing a grey skin-tight cat-suit, complete with >matching high-heeled boots. Not wanting her hunny to go *splat* (Toon >Continuum or no), she used her JL Power Ring to create a large pillow >beneath him to cushion his fall. > > Of course, this being the tooniverse, it was a foot to the left. > >"oops," Morgan winced as Roland made quite an impression on the >Martians. Sometimes, you just have to accept the inevitable gracefully. Case in point: the Rogers, seeing where they had entered (stage "high"), shrugged and plummeted, after a sufficient pause to allow the obligatory "reaction shot." One morphed his clothes into a pair of swim trunks, and began doing Olympic-style diving...er...stuff...while the other produced an announcer's mike and began doing a running play-by-play. "Lutz...swan...jacknife...another swan...triple axle...five-and-three-eighths gainer...skew flip turnover...and it looks like he's going for no splash!" THUD! SPLAT! From the Roger-shaped crater --beside the two feet sticking straight up out of the ground--, the announcer's voice drifts up weakly. "And what a lovely entry! Almost no splash whatsoever." > "ow...ow...ow..." Roland managed to pull his arms out of the >perfectly Roland-shaped dent he'd made. He then used them to pull his >head out, and a moment later he was free (if rather >accordion-shaped). A toon Weird Al suddenly appeared, played the >first bar of "My Bologna" on him, saw the look on his wife's face, >yelped, and vanished in a puff of "zip" smoke. Roland shook himself >out, returning to his usual shape (except for looking like a feline >cartoon version of himself) as Morgan landed gently on the pillow >she'd created for him. The announcer-Roger crawled out of his hole and looked around. The feet of the diver-Roger were just barely (ankle-down) sticking out of the ground, at an angle that suggested diver-Roger had indeed made a nearly perfectly perpendicular interface with the surface of Mars. Announcer-Roger grabbed the feet and yanked diver-Roger out of the ground. > Alas, nearly all toon males turn part wolf at the sight of a >gorgeous woman (doubly so with Tex Avery redheads), and he was >smiling in a rather predatory manner. "Rrrroww," he said >emphatically. Then Morgan pulled a frying pan out from under the >pillow, and *whanged* him with it. He shook his head afterwards, and >other than the foot-tall lump on his head, he was back to normal. >"Sorry, love. Back to business." He looked around the landscape as >the rest of the CAoL came to rest...er...wherever they had landed. The Rogers staggered up to join the rest of the group, slapping dirt off themselves. Their clothes had morphed seperately -- while they still shared the jeans-and-bomber-jacket motif, their shirts had changed. One's was now animated with a message in Gothic script: "I SURVIVED TEACHING 'DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS' AT HOGWARTS, AND ALL I GOT FOR IT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT." The other sports a flaming skull-and-crossbones that ripples as if in a violent wind, although the shirt isn't moving, with a tech-font logo: "/dev/reality is full. Please delete anyone you can." Collecting some speculative glances due to their seeming un-Toon'ed state, they shrug rather grimly. "Wait for it." > "Well, the good news is the kids didn't have any trouble with this >bunch. The bad news is the kids didn't have any trouble with this >bunch. They're already gone." Roland pulled up his pants (which had >reappeared, replacing the Duck Dodgers uniform), looking around >knowingly. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about the Martia--" > Roland clapped his hands to his mouth, eyes wide with shock. Too >late. The Rogers due a mutual simultaneous facepalm -- one left-handed, the other right, in perfect mirror-synch. > A strange "dooka-dooka-dooka-DOOKA" sound echoed around them, and >the green vulture-headed Martian warriors parted to let whatever was >making the sound pass. Soon Marvin, very angry indeed, was staring at >the newcomers. > "My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! What have you done >with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?" The Rogers exchange a quick glance, and the studio audience was treated to a thought balloon showing their "Acting" setting being shifted from "Method" to "Scenery-chewing." "Q-36?" Scoffs one of the Rogers scornfully. "My, how *primitive.* I thought we had travelled to a *civilized* dimension. "Yes, quite, dear boy," commiserates the other. "Why, *our* THX-1138 IMPlosive METAspace DEmodulator is as far beyond the quaint, if classic, Q-36 as the Q-36 was beyond, well, a rock." The Rogers stare down their noses slightly at Marvin, with an expression that mingles sympathy, pity, just a *bit* of derision, and a snootful of plain ol' snootiness. "Tell us, my good fellow, do you *truly* intend to use such a blunt instrument for an application so obviously requiring surgical precision?" OOC: Dunno if he'll bite, but the plan is to sell him the THX (made by ACME, of course!), with a ream of paperwork and governmental approvals so thick he'll spend WEEKS filling it all out...by which point, we should be long gone. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 12:36:11 PST Nemo Said As CAoL Message # 00010746 >On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:06:28 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010737 > >And, as family will do when called in time of need, the various >members of the Callahanian Army of Light began congregating in the >Phoenix-Greywolf family room. Nemo steps up to the X-Window in The Place. But not *too* close. "I'd like to help, but the way the Tooniverse works, if I got anywahere near it, my abilities mean I'd automatically be forced into a specific role." Next to him an image appears in the air, showing Daffy Duck moving thru various landscapes that should *not* be adjacent to each other. With a giant paintbrush creating them as he goes... "I'd be cast as the writer/artist. And I'd be stuck with the prime directive of the Tooniverse even then. I don't think you want to be around when that happens." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 19:31:26 -0800 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010747 >On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 02:16:56 -0800 >Harlock Said As CAoL Message # 00010740 > >>Morgan and Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010738 >> >> Roland and Morgan appeared the tooniverse high above Marvin's >>Martian platform. > >As did Harlock. Seeing the distance to the ground, he started >frantically rummaging through his pouches, muttering "feather fall, >feather fall, I know there's a ring of feather fall in here >somewhere" and absent-mindedly (?!) leaving a trail of detritus >behind him as he fell. "Aha!" he exclaimed in triumph just as >*splat!* the platform caught up to him. _Through_ the metal, Roland turns and looks at him. "Gruesome, ain't it?" he comments dryly between groans... >Harlock, being already somewhat of a wolf, went into an all-out wild >take: his head turned into that of a wolf, he whistled, his heart >started beating out of his rib-cage, his eyes popped out of their >sockets and rolled around on the floor, and his tongue unrolled to a >length of ten feet. >>Then Morgan pulled a frying pan out from under the pillow, and >>*whanged* him with it. He shook his head afterwards, and other than >>the foot-tall lump on his head, he was back to normal. "Sorry, love. >>Back to business." > (OOC-R: Well, since you asked... 8^) Roland looked at this reaction askance, turning slightly greener. "Morgan, would you hand me that frying pan for a moment, please?" When his _WIFE_ *ahem* handed him the pan... *WHANGGGG!* "Thank you," he added, handing the pan back to Morgan. "My pleasure," she replied. "Saved me having to 'whang' a teammate." Roland scowled at her. "You 'whanged' _me,_ though!" "That's _different,_ you're my _husband,_" Morgan said, as if it were the most obvious matter in the world. Roland sigh/growled. "Whatta revoltin' development this is!" >> The Martians revived instantly. All zillion of them. In the exact >>same moment, they had all sprung to their feet and surrounded the >>Freelance Immortals and everyone with them. >> A strange "dooka-dooka-dooka-DOOKA" sound echoed around them, and ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (OOC-R: For clarification, that's the musical cue that "follows" Marvin while he's walking. 8^) >Bewildered by this turn of events, Harlock stuck a hand into one of >his pouches and pulled out...bongos. An inch-high wolf-headed Harlock >with devil horns and a tail appeared on his left shoulder and >whispered something in his ear. Still not quite sure what was going >on, the Bard started playing a conga rhythm as the devil-Harlock >vanished with a triumphant grin. As the conga music swelled, some of >the Martians started swaying to the beat. Harlock started a conga >line and a Million Martian March started up. The Bard led the conga >line up to a doorway to nowhere and stepped aside at the last minute. The Martians, who seem to have undergone a cultural revolution in the wake of the conga line, immediately start putting wingtip to shoulder, hips swaying to the beat as they fall into...er...line. "TUM-TUM-tum-tum-TUM-_TUM!_ TUM-TUM-tum-tum-TUM-_TUM!_" go the Martians, and though their kicks on the sixth beat are a bit emphatic, they show great talent for the dance, their collective rhythm in perfect synch to the drums. >The Martians, still conga-ing away, stepped through the doorway and >fell to the surface. And even as they fall, they continue to dance enthusiastically... OOC-both: ROFL! > >Please note that Harlock only took care of a million of the zillion >present. And it was funny. > OOC-R: Oh, yes, that's definitely into the beat -- er, spirit of things. 8^) ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 20:30:04 -0800 Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010748 >On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:06:28 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010737 > >>On Fri, 1 Feb 2002 10:29:20 -0800 >>Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010725 >> >>\Do you happen to know, >> Which Tooniverse was their original target?\ >> >>\Perhaps if I work my way up from this side, >> While you follow them, >> We can intercept them a bit quicker...\ > >/"Somehow, I don't think the Tooniverse is going to make it that >simple,"/ Morgan sighed. \Probably Not, However It seems worth the try...\ ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 21:04:06 -0800 Rio Lancer Said As CAoL Message # 00010749 >On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 15:47:46 EST >SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010745 > >In a message dated 2/4/02 2:17:49 AM Eastern Standard Time, >ljwolfe writes: > > The announcer-Roger crawled out of his hole and looked around. The >feet of the diver-Roger were just barely (ankle-down) sticking out of >the ground, at an angle that suggested diver-Roger had indeed made a >nearly perfectly perpendicular interface with the surface of Mars. >Announcer-Roger grabbed the feet and yanked diver-Roger out of the >ground. To find Rio standing there holding a fluffy robe adorned with the CAoL logo for him :-). Seems she'd come out of the vortex at "ground" level. This might have something to do with cute blondes being a close third to adorable kids and gorgeous redheads when it comes to damage resistance... >> Roland clapped his hands to his mouth, eyes wide with shock. Too >>late. > > The Rogers due a mutual simultaneous facepalm -- one left-handed, >the other right, in perfect mirror-synch. "You'd think someone with kids would know better," Rio commiserated. > The Rogers exchange a quick glance, and the studio audience was >treated to a thought balloon showing their "Acting" setting being >shifted from "Method" to "Scenery-chewing." > "Q-36?" Scoffs one of the Rogers scornfully. "My, how *primitive.* >I thought we had travelled to a *civilized* dimension. > "Yes, quite, dear boy," commiserates the other. "Why, *our* >THX-1138 IMPlosive METAspace DEmodulator is as far beyond the quaint, >if classic, Q-36 as the Q-36 was beyond, well, a rock." A screen appeared behind Roger, showing sales-brochure type images of a THX-1138 IMD. Rio went into Vanna mode, pointing out its obviously superior features with a smile. ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 21:13:54 -0800 "The Lizard of Oz" Said As CAoL Message # 00010750 >On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:06:28 -0800 >Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010737 > > The resulting vortex was massively powerful, but under other >circumstances this would have been a minor obstacle for any CAoL >member. Alas, the laws of physics had been vetoed by the Toon >Continuum. The entire group present went flying into the TV, Roland >and Morgan yanked in (head)first... The Lizard kept his wings closed until he had exited the Vortex, Then opening them he Glides down to the Platform/Maze... Hiding in a corner he rumages around in his waist-coat pockets, Eventually finding something, That Looks like an Explosive Space Modulator, Carrying it with him in an effort to find a place to Hide it... He leads a Growing number of Martians a Merry Chase... Letting them crowd themselves off the sides of Narrow spots, And when they get too close falling through holes in the floor, Only to glide safely over to a lower level... And start over. ;) ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning In On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 21:06:29 -0800 Roland X Said As CAoL Message # 00010751 >On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 15:47:46 EST >SkyeFire Said As CAoL Message # 00010745 > >>In a message dated 2/4/02 2:17:49 AM Eastern Standard Time, ljwolfe >>writes: > > From the Roger-shaped crater --beside the two feet sticking >straight up out of the ground--, the announcer's voice drifts up >weakly. "And what a lovely entry! Almost no splash whatsoever." And five Martians immediately form a judging panel, each wearing a severe suit jacket and having an Earthly flag in front of them. "From the American Martian, a 4.9! From the British Martian, a 4.8! From the Japanese Martian (love those anime eyes), a 5.0!!! From the Nigerian Martian, a 4.9! And from the East German Martian...a 2.4?!? Dat's highway robbery! Ya bum!" Bugs, who just turned into the (spare) announcer, starts shaking his fist at the suddenly sheepish Martian in question, while an unseen audience begins to boo him/it loudly. > OOC: if it turns out that we wanted to keep one Roger on E-9, we >can just say that the Roger who came through made a dupe in order to >pull this gag off. OOC-both: Two Rogers sounds like twice the fun to us. 8^) >> "My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! What have you done >>with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?" > > The Rogers exchange a quick glance, and the studio audience was >treated to a thought balloon showing their "Acting" setting being >shifted from "Method" to "Scenery-chewing." > "Q-36?" Scoffs one of the Rogers scornfully. "My, how *primitive.* >I thought we had travelled to a *civilized* dimension. Marvin boggled (as much as that "minimalist" toon ever boggles) at the audacity to scoff at the great Martian astronomer... > "Yes, quite, dear boy," commiserates the other. "Why, *our* >THX-1138 IMPlosive METAspace DEmodulator is as far beyond the quaint, >if classic, Q-36 as the Q-36 was beyond, well, a rock." And the entire area of local space is filled by a super-powerful sound test. A sign the size of the Milky Way appeared for a moment, declaring: "The audience is listening." Marvin moved up from boggling to blithering, utterly stupefied at the insult. > The Rogers stare down their noses slightly at Marvin, with an >expression that mingles sympathy, pity, just a *bit* of derision, and >a snootful of plain ol' snootiness. "Tell us, my good fellow, do you >*truly* intend to use such a blunt instrument for an application so >obviously requiring surgical precision?" > > OOC: Dunno if he'll bite, but the plan is to sell him the THX >(made by ACME, of course!), with a ream of paperwork and governmental >approvals so thick he'll spend WEEKS filling it all out...by which >point, we should be long gone. OOC-R: Actually, Acme (for all its apparent monopoly) appears to be a Terran concern; Marvin's tech all seems to be from the A-1 company. Go fig. ;^) At this point, Marvin managed to regain enough composure to go from blithering to apoplectic. Except for the ever-calm Marvin, "apoplectic" is sort of pacing back and forth in a melodramatic stew. "Blunt? _Primitive?_ Ooh, you make me angry! *puff puff puff* _Very_ angry indeed!" Marvin himself doesn't actually do anything more. But the bulk of the zillion remaining Martians zooms over to where Mudd and D.M. are giving Marvin a hard time, staring at him balefully while each single antenna wiggles emphatically. Unfortunately, this is finally too much for the badly battered platform, and it begins to list heavily to Earth-ward... Bugs looks around, his amusement slowly evaporating. "Eh, doc," he says to the nearest Callahanian, as he looks around for the nearest transportation, "dis might be a good time ta get outta town..." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 21:36:10 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010752 >On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 12:36:11 PST >Nemo Said As CAoL Message # 00010746 > >Nemo steps up to the X-Window in The Place. But not *too* close. > >"I'd like to help, but the way the Tooniverse works, if I got >anywahere near it, my abilities mean I'd automatically be forced into >a specific role." > >Next to him an image appears in the air, showing Daffy Duck moving >thru various landscapes that should *not* be adjacent to each other. >With a giant paintbrush creating them as he goes... > >"I'd be cast as the writer/artist. And I'd be stuck with the prime >directive of the Tooniverse even then. I don't think you want to be >around when that happens." "Ow, not fun," Morgan nodded. "Well, you can always watch from the Place, and kibitz whenever you feel it's appropriate." ================================= Subject: Re: AAE8: Tooning Out, Part 2 On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 21:41:33 -0800 Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010753 >On Mon, 4 Feb 2002 20:30:04 -0800 >Fuzzy and/or Nemisis Said As CAoL Message # 00010748 > >>On Sun, 03 Feb 2002 23:06:28 -0800 >>Morgan and/or Roland Said As CAoL Message # 00010737 >> >>/"Somehow, I don't think the Tooniverse is going to make it that >>simple,"/ Morgan sighed. > >\Probably Not, > However It seems worth the try...\ Watching Roland work on tuning the right toon (or is that tooning in the right tune...), Morgan sent, /"True. Once we get a lead, you're welcome to try anything you think might work. With these two kids, _anything's_ possible."/ (OOC: Have fun! That's the whole point of this sleighride! ) =================================